Happy Thursday everyone! Today I have a one word post from a very lovely woman in my church. It's greatly impacted me and I know that it probably took a lot of courage for Melai to share her story. Thank you for being brave Melai. xo

BELIEVE. This is the “one word” God has spoken into my heart.

Last year in July 2013, I was diagnosed with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder). It was the worst situation I had gone through. I could go on for days without sleeping. Anxiety attacks happened almost every 5 minutes; my mind was so anxious. It was heart breaking for me to look at my kids and not be able to take care of them. I couldn’t even look after myself. I was scared and thought I was going to lose my mind and die like that. My life was not normal as it was before. It was so dark, and I was helpless.

I remember calling to God in prayer asking Him to heal me, but I confess that those many times that I got on my knees to pray, I was so proud. I questioned the Lord many times because I could not understand why it happened to me. I thought of myself as a victim, deserving to be asked for forgiveness. My heart was full of anger, and the thoughts of my heart wanted revenge.

I had been stuck in the moment of questioning when one night the Lord spoke to me in a poem I was reading in the book called "The Purpose Driven Life".

It read:

"No, that trauma you faced was not easy.

And God wept that it hurt you so;

But it was allowed to shape your heart

So that into his likeness you'd grow."

I cried as I was reading that poem, but at the same time I felt so comforted knowing I was not alone. God was weeping with me, and He understood my pain and hurt. That "trauma I faced" wasn't because I was being punished as I thought, but was rather allowed because God has a good and perfect plan for me.

Though it was hard for me to completely grasp God's good plan for me in that moment, His presence, and His perfect power and love had kept my heart to keep believing His word when He told me "for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, “plans

to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11)

I fell down on my knees at the altar, and cried out to God, “Lord Jesus, I surrender all. Have mercy on me Lord and take over my life, for it is yours. Forgive all of my sins and help me to forgive. Have mercy O, Lord, please have mercy on me.” Every minute that I felt like I was dying, I realized that I had no control over my life, and that the very breath I had in my being comes from Him. That same night I felt God’s embrace as a father embraces his child. I was welcomed back into the arms of my heavenly Father for “I was dead and is alive again; I was lost and is found”(Luke 15:24). I was deeply comforted. Suddenly there was light, and I was hopeful.

JESUS is my LIGHT, MY HOPE, and MY COMFORT. I believe.

During those many sleepless nights when nothing seemed to work (scented candles, bath soak, comfort food etc.), God’s Word (my Bible) sustained me; even now His word sustains me.

JESUS is my DELIVERER.I believe.

This is one of my favorite verses... “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus”(Philippians 4:6-7).

JESUS IS MY PEACE. I believe.

As I started reading the Gospels, and the stories of miracles that Jesus did, I realized that one thing these people who were healed had in common is that they all had believed –by FAITH they believed that Jesus was able to heal them, and so they were.

I was stumbling in my faith, I had so much unbelief, but JESUS has been MERCIFUL and FORGIVING and PATIENT towards me. It seemed that the Lord was speaking to me directly after I read Mark 9:22-24. I saw myself through the eyes of the man whom Jesus was talking and so I prayed “I believe Lord Jesus, please help my unbelief.”

JESUS is my HELPER. I believe.

In mid-September, my doctor told me that he was very happy with my progress. He actually said that I seemed to get better on my own as it surprised him that he did not have to put me on the whole drug. But the truth is, it wasn’t me but JESUS who had healed me and made me better each passing day.

JESUS is my HEALER. I believe.

I would like to share these verses that God has spoken into my heart. I BELIEVE that JESUS has healed me (Jeremiah 33:6), He has redeemed me and summoned me by name, and I am His (Isaiah 43:1), and that God loves me and calls me His precious daughter (Isaiah 43:4).

I believe - JESUS IS MY REDEEMER, JESUS LOVES ME.

My Jesus has transformed my unbelieving heart and made it NEW. Jesus has made me new (2 Cor. 5: 17 ) . It is Christ who lives in me (Gal 2:20), and His Holy Spirit dwells in me (2 Cor 1:22).

Another thing that the Lord has been teaching me is “believing in prayer”. When circumstances cause me any doubt or unbelief, the Holy Spirit reminds me of one man’s humble statement in the Bible when he said, “I believe Lord, help my unbelief!” This became a powerful prayer for me. I believe that God answers prayers, and “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us”(1John 5:14).

I need Jesus every single hour, for “apart from God I can do nothing”(John 15:5). He is the source of everything –all that I am, all that I have. And I am forever grateful for all that Jesus has done for me, and for my church family who have been constantly praying for me. The Lord has heard their prayers and mine.

JESUS IS GRACIOUS AND COMPASSIONATE. I believe.

Had I not become very sick I would not know who Jesus is to me –my Light, Hope, Comfort, and Peace. Jesus is my Merciful, Forgiving God, and Loving Lord God; my Helper, Deliverer, Healer, Redeemer, Compassionate and Gracious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. JESUS CHRIST has set me free (Galatians 5:1). He is my freedom!

“Everything is possible for one who believes.”(Mark 9:24)

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”(Philippians 1:6)

In Jesus Name, I pray for all who are hurting, lonely and depressed, for those who have illnesses, and are going through a difficult time. And I pray for all the Lord's people in Jesus Name, "Grace be to you and peace from God the Father, and from our Lord Jesus Christ."(Gal.1:3)

Thank you Melai for sharing your story. You have encouraged me greatly and I know many others will be encouraged through your testimony!